Thursday, May 12, 2005

Go Enjoy a Little Light Reading

Maybe I don't get out enough, or cruise the Internet enough. Maybe I'm about to recommend a site that all of you have seen and enjoyed. Maybe you'll think I'm clueless and callow. Maybe you're thinking, "Quit babbling and get on with it." Okay I will.

I stumbled on a neat parody site this afternoon. I have a little history with parodies. For instance, I wrote a parody describing a Winchester 94 as an "assault weapon" that must be banned. I had fun writing it, but this other site makes me fall on my knees in Wayne and Garth mode and plead, "I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy.

The parody site eliciting such humility is called "Mothers Insisting on Licensed Tools" (MILT). MILT is rife with cute little drawings, and dire pronouncements. The home page shows two children holding each other in fear because a menacing power drill, complete with teeth, aims its pointed drill bit at them. The heading announces "Mothers Insisting on Licensed Tools Presents...Power Tools [/] America's Children at Risk."

Each page is chock full of text, drawings, photos, founding fathers' quotes, user modifications that make power tools more deadly; you name it. Even MILT's business address is a joke, it's actually the building in Harlem where Bill Clinton's New York office is located.

Other features: Wally the Whale teaches safety, Tim Allen is depicted as a sinister tool pusher, kitchen table tool dealers sell tools right out of ice cream trucks. I could go on, but you can read.

One final word, "Last Page" informs readers it's all a parody (apparently a few people thought it was real). It's actually a pro-gun site that shows what absurd levels anti-gunnies go to while demonizing guns. Bob Frenchu designed MILT and I really am getting him a round of virtual applause for a job well done. MILT's webmaster is now W. Earl Allen. It has a Geeks with Guns banner. Go there. Enjoy, unless you've already been there and I'm just boring you. Seriously, enjoy.

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